The Arbiter
The Arbiter
Portrayed by
Microsoft Mike
LH Michael (Season 1)
UltraHyperShadow as Arnold Schwarzenegger ("Master Chief: The Motion Picture")
Episode count
The Arbiter
Covenant Arbiter

The Arbiter is a main character of the series. He is the best friend of Master Chief, despite the latter's often rude and insulting comments. The Arbiter loyally stands by Master Chief in their battles against the Network and the Ancients and often uses his intelligence and skills to get his friends out of difficult situations. The Arbiter stands by Master Chief throughout their journey to stop the forces of evil, and is one of the only characters to survive the whole series.


Before the seriesEdit

The Arbiter joined the UNSC, and it was there that he met Master Chief. Together, they stopped CATS from destroying their military base. Afterwords, the Arbiter was approached by the King, who asked him to join the Network. ("Master Chief: The Movie") Years later, the Arbiter would be convinced to leave by a time travelling Master Chief, who told him the King was evil. ("Master Chief Sucks at Constants")

Season 1 (2008)Edit

Because he had not yet been introduced in the series, the Arbiter did not help in the original battle against CATS. He first appears when Master Chief demonstrates a willingness to join Scientology, which the Arbiter informs him is a cult. ("Master Chief vs Scientology") The Arbiter is later chastised by Master Chief for using online dating sites. ("Master Chief Sucks at Online Dating") During the next battle against CATS, the Arbiter dueled L. Ron Hubbard and killed him. However, Tom Cruise appeared and captured him, while Master Chief was captured by the King. ("Master Chief: The Finale")

Alternate timelineEdit

When Ronald activates the Halo, an alternate timeline is created. In this alternate timeline, Master Chief is an eloquent, sophisticated, and polite protagonist, while the Arbiter is his vulgar and rude counterpart. ("Master Chief Rocks at Ordering McDonalds") They go to a restaurant, where Charlemagne reveals he was head of research on the project with his assistant, Avery Johnson. The Arbiter later insults Ronald and his McDonalds food. ("Master Chief Rocks at Ordering at Restaurants") ("Master Chief Sucks at Alternate Timelines")

Season 2 (2008-2009)Edit

Second Finale part 1

Master Chief and the Arbiter fight the King

Master Chief stages a jailbreak, but the Arbiter does not wish to come with him, choosing to stay behind and gather intelligence. ("Master Chief Sucks at Escaping Prison") Later, the Arbiter and Cortana arrive and inform Master Chief of the Network, the King's group, and how Barack Obama is sacrificing himself to give them time to escape. Hillary Clinton then assassinates Obama. ("Master Chief Meets the Network") Master Chief, the Arbiter, and Cortana arrive at the superweapon the King has been building, but when he activates it, they discover it's actually a portal to the Ark. After a battle with Hillary Clinton, they enter the portal. ("Master Chief vs the Superweapon")

Master Chief goes through a brief but influential time travel situation, and is eventually reunited with the Arbiter and Cortana after using them as "constants," and they fend off the King again. ("Master Chief Sucks at Time Travel") ("Master Chief Sucks at Super Smash Bros.") They discover the Ark's computer and learn that the King is preparing to fire a laser from the structure. ("Master Chief Sucks at Computers") The trio's plan to stop the King is interrupted by Hillary, who goes rogue against both sides and decides to use the laser for her own purposes. Cortana successfully kills her and then begins deactivating the laser. ("Master Chief vs Hillary Clinton") Master Chief and the Arbiter fight the King, but he then reveals he is actually planning on using the laser against the Ancients, a rival group of villains who are much more dangerous than he is. But because Cortana disabled the laser, the Ancients arrive successfully, and destroy the Ark. Master Chief, the Arbiter, and Sergeant Avery Johnson escape on a ship, while the King hitches a ride on Ancients leader Ronald McDonald's ship, but Cortana is left behind in the chaos and her fate is left unknown. Master Chief and the Arbiter wake up in the year 2020, eleven years in the future, having been catapulted through time by the Ark's destruction. ("Master Chief: The Second Finale")

Season 3 (2020)Edit

After being sent to the year 2020, Master Chief and the Arbiter decide to infiltrate a ship and fly it to the Halo ring being built by the Ancients. A huge shootout occurs between the heroes and the Ancients. They escape and encounter 343 Guilty Spark. ("Master Chief Sucks at Ordering Burger King") The pair reluctantly trust Guilty Spark after he time travels to 44 BC to give a message to the King and Johnson. ("Master Chief Meets Guilty Spark") They decide to raid a Walmart store for weapons, and learn from Guilty Spark that Cortana can be rebooted onboard the Halo ring. ("Master Chief Sucks at Shopping") The pair go to the ring, defeat Jack Thompson again, and reboot Cortana. The heroes then raid the ring's control room, where they have a shootout with Ronald again and witness him seemingly activate the ring. ("Master Chief Sucks at Rescue Missions")

Because the ring was activated prior to 100% charge, the structure begins collapsing. Master Chief, the Arbiter, and Cortana disable the ring and leave Ronald for dead, but unbeknownst to them, Ronald survives and activates the ring at full charge. ("Master Chief vs the Halo") An alternate timeline is subsequently created (see section alternate timeline above). ("Master Chief Rocks at Ordering McDonalds") When the timelines are reset, the King explains that Ronald intends to raid Building 69 for a program that can be used by an AI to control the universe, and that this information was hidden in Master Chief's brain by Ronald himself. He also explains that the user of the program is destined to destroy Master Chief. ("Master Chief Sucks at Alternate Timelines")

However, at Building 69, Master Chief, the Arbiter, Cortana, and Ronald discover that the King did not die and is an AI who has now downloaded the program. The King explains how the series is scripted by a force in the "real world" and he intends to destroy that force and free everyone from their fictional prison, but the group refuses to help him and, in the chaos, Ronald and Johnson are both killed by the King. After they escape, Cortana reveals she has made contact with someone she met in the AI database who can help them: CATS. ("Master Chief Sucks at Plot Twists")

The Arbiter stays behind as Master Chief, Cortana, and CATS go to the Quantum Flux Teleporter to find the Voice because he wants to make sure someone who knows the King's plan survives. Before leaving, Master Chief asks the Arbiter to finish his series for him if he dies. After Cortana and, eventually, Master Chief both die, the King himself is destroyed, and the Arbiter and CATS are all that remain. A memorial is dedicated to Master Chief, and the Arbiter turns down CATS's offer to play Super Smash Bros. or go to McDonalds, instead saying he's "got a video to upload." ("Master Chief Sucks at Everything")


Master Chief and the Arbiter are a classical comedy duo; Master Chief being the "funny man" and the Arbiter being the "straight man." The Arbiter puts up with the constant jokes from Master Chief because he is loyal to his friend. In addition to his intelligence, the Arbiter is, like Master Chief, an excellent combatant, having singlehandedly taken on and killed L. Ron Hubbard. The Arbiter gets along well with Cortana, and seems to respect Sergeant Johnson.


  • In the Halo series, "Arbiter" is a religious rank bestowed upon Covenant Elites; the Arbiter at the time of the Halo trilogy is named Thel 'Vadam. Since the Covenant does not exist in Master Chief Sucks at Ordering, it is unclear whether the Arbiter has a real name, and what it is if he does.
  • While the King has the second highest number of appearances in the series, the Arbiter holds this position in all three seasons. The King has more total appearances because of the Minisodes and Meet the Ancients.
  • It is hinted that Master Chief and the Arbiter live in Florida, specifically near Miami. When the Arbiter triangulates CATS's position, he says Master Chief fought Jack Thompson in Miami and L. Ron Hubbard in Orlando. ("Master Chief Sucks at Ordering Finales") Master Chief also lives within a short distance of Thompson's Miami office, which he visits twice. ("Master Chief vs Jack Thompson") ("Master Chief: The Movie")
  • The Arbiter is completely absent from the first four episodes of the series, and so he did not fight in the first battle against CATS. The in-universe explanation for his absence is unknown.
  • Though only mentioned once, Master Chief and the Arbiter are apparently roommates. ("Master Chief Sucks at Online Dating")
  • The Arbiter's unclear sexuality is a running gag in the series. Master Chief once referred to him as his "gay roommate." ("Master Chief Sucks at Online Dating") When Master Chief and the Arbiter were in the Batmobile, Master Chief called himself Batman and said the Arbiter had to be Robin because he's gay. ("Master Chief vs the Superweapon") When the Ark was about to explode, the Arbiter claimed to love Master Chief, prompting the latter to ask why the Arbiter had to "go fag" right before he died. ("Master Chief: The Second Finale") Master Chief also occasionally uses homophobic slurs toward the Arbiter, though he also does so with the rest of the cast.
The Network
Former members
The Arbiter
Deceased members
The KingCortanaJack ThompsonTom CruiseCATSThe Angry Video Game NerdChris HansenBarack ObamaL. Ron HubbardChad WardenJoe Biden
Associated characters and places
The AncientsHillary ClintonJohn McCainSarah PalinThe Ark
Characters in Master Chief Sucks at Ordering
Master ChiefThe KingThe ArbiterCortanaRonald McDonaldCATSHillary Clinton
Jack ThompsonAvery JohnsonTom CruiseThe Angry Video Game NerdChris HansenBarack Obama343 Guilty SparkL. Ron HubbardChad WardenBill GatesReggie Fils-AimeOprah WinfreyJoe BidenSteve JobsThe Voice
Samus AranMarioLinkJohn McCainAnonymousLuigiRidleyGanondorfXenuSarah Palin
Master Chief Sucks at Ordering
Season 1MinisodesSeason 2Meet the AncientsSeason 3
Main characters
Master ChiefThe KingThe ArbiterCortanaRonald McDonaldCATSHillary Clinton
Recurring characters
Jack ThompsonAvery JohnsonTom CruiseThe Angry Video Game NerdChris HansenBarack Obama343 Guilty SparkL. Ron HubbardChad WardenBill GatesReggie Fils-AimeOprah WinfreyJoe BidenSteve JobsThe Voice
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